Navigating the complex emotions of the holidays can be difficult for pet owners. Augusta O’Reilly, a licensed clinical social worker at the Virginia-Maryland College of Veterinary Medicine and president of the International Association of Veterinary Social Work, offers the following guidance on managing grief and honoring the human-animal bond during this season.

The holiday season is often a time of reflection, memories, and traditions. During this time of year, we can experience a longing for the past and a sense of grief from those we’ve lost over the year, including our pets. 

Our pets are an integral part of our families and we often forget how present they are during the holiday season cookies — from stealing bites of the holiday ham, playing in the snow, or making their way into the holiday newsletter. 

This holiday season, we want to share some tips for our families that might be missing their pets this year or preparing for one of the last seasons with their pet. 

Starting traditions now can help us stay connected to our pets, even after they pass on from us, and allow us to continue honoring their memory and the special bond we have with them. 

Making the most of the season…

It is common to feel a sense of grief during this time — even when our loved ones are still with us. This is called anticipatory grief. This is the emotional response to an expected loss: This can be feeling sad if it’s your child’s last holiday at home before college or crying thinking about how your pet might not be here next year, even feeling pressure to make this holiday the perfect one. 

There are some things you can do as a family or individual to help with these feelings.

Make meaningful memories.

  • Take a holiday photo. 
  • Create a pawprint ornament.
  • Wrap up a new toy or treat for them to open.

Spend time at home this year. If you know this might be the last one, opt to spend time in your pet’s favorite place instead. Cozy up with them on the sofa and watch your favorite movie.  

Make a special meal for them. Pet-friendly alternatives can make them feel like they are a part of the traditions.

 

Take small moments in between the chaos. Practicing moments of mindfulness during the holiday season can bring you closer together and give you memories you can reflect back on.

 

 

  • Walking in the snow and noticing their paw prints, or how the snow lands on their fur.
  • Synchronizing your breathing when things get a little too crazy.
  • Moments of gratitude with your pet — “Thank you for being my companion.”
  • Mindful Petting — Pet them slowly noticing their muscles, their response, their texture.

 

Continuing to honor the bond

While our grief can feel overwhelming at times, to help ride the wave we feel during those difficult times of heavy grief. It is helpful to find ways to stay connected with our pets and to continue making new memories. 

During the holiday season there are some special ways we can do this:

 

  • Lighting a candle for your pet. 
  • Create a tiny holiday altar with their favorite things that you have.
  • Share their memories; such as past holiday photos or hanging up ornaments of them.
  • Write a short letter to your pet about the year and what they have missed.
  • Donate time or items in their memory to the locate rescue or shelter to keep their memory alive. 

 

As always, grief and a loss of a pet can feel isolating, so please reach out to those who understand and support you, or connect to your local supports such as:

 

 

Contact:

Andrew Mann
Director of Marketing and Communications